How I Kept My Marriage Alive! A Take on Rekindling Affection in Relationships


Relationships are beautiful, sensitive and important to our lives but they can also be complex. Whether the relationship is between parent and child, husband and wife, or with friends, lovers, colleagues or relatives. Relationships come with their own need of nurturing and efforts. But I personally I feel, the most complex or complicated relationship is HUSBAND –WIFE relation. There is so much to give so much to understand especially for the girl who leaves her parent’s home after marriage; she has to move to a new place, to a new surrounding, in a new family sometimes knowing the person she is married to or in many cases not even knowing that.

Initial phase of marriage is so good- almost dreamy and exciting, everything is new, there is so much to learn and explore about each other. The problem when comes when the couple’s lives get into “routine” mode and a subtle feeling of boredom strikes. Women get involved with mundane activities of making food, taking care of kids, doing daily household chores. Men get busy with providing things for each and every member of family and giving financial care.

When I was getting married, my mother advised me to do stay “dedicated” to my husband. At that point of time I felt she must be joking but even though her thoughts were old fashioned for me, still I feel that probably her advice was right for me in some way. My husband does feel good when I do small things for him and seeing him happy I too feel glad. Talk to any of your friend or relative they will all agree to this.

Mine is an arranged marriage and after seven years of marriage I still try to do some small things to keep our marriage alive. But as the relationship gets into monotony one feels irritated, and the dilemma at that time is what to do, where to go, with whom to discuss these things? Every, marriage at some point of time will face this situation. I feel this situation can be handled by little patience and smart thinking.

Rekindling affection and love is important. One of the key aspects we all lose is Touch; a single touch or hug can ease the distance. Start giving each other good morning or goodbye kisses or hugs, when back make tea together if not making then do have it together, discuss your day and please don’t start giving solutions until and unless asked for , it’s just that sometimes one needs to be heard without any disturbances. On weekends, try to do some activity together, yes that will bring you two closer. And it doesn’t mean just hanging out together outside but even while own home picking up household activities together such as dusting, arranging furniture or simply lying down and watching TV/movie. Try to get involved in an activity that your partner likes. It can be reading certain section of newspaper which the other one likes and discuss about that. You will feel that you are now starting to know a different person, different aspect of your partner will be known to you.  This small little activity may give a fresh look to your relation.

Author- Ruchi Verma, Ex-lecturer at Punjab University

This post was previosuly published on Oowomaniya 

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